


for better or (a lot) worse

by DoctorFitzy (KittooningMalijah)



Series: Hauntober 2020 [24]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Engagement, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hauntober, M/M, Moving, Not Canon Compliant, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27177899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittooningMalijah/pseuds/DoctorFitzy
Summary: Knight of wands- relocation or travelKnight of pentacles- loyalty in times of changeor, a Hauntober prompt accidentally turned into a road trip fic
Relationships: Trevor Khan/Deke Shaw
Series: Hauntober 2020 [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948561
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	for better or (a lot) worse

**Author's Note:**

> for Hauntober day 24: "tarot"

Closing the trunk of the car, Trevor sighed and turned around to look at the apartment building they were leaving behind. The things that couldn't fit in the car, or shouldn't be taken on a cross country road trip, had been sent ahead with SHIELD a few days before and were being safely stored in the Lighthouse until they could pick it all up. Their lives had been completely packed up, as much as they could be - well, except for one thing.

Deke frowned at him, holding up the empty cat crate they'd planned on using to take Clover on the drive with them, before she got abducted to be catsit by their favorite alien. "This is stupid. If we don't even need this, then why didn't we just send it on the quinjet? I don't want to look back at this sad empty crate for the next  _ week _ any time I reach for a snack." He shuffled over, hesitating at the car's back door before speaking up again. "Are you  _ sure _ there's no more room in the trunk?"

"If there was room in the trunk, it would have gone in the trunk. I got the fuel efficient model, Deke, not the one with the storage space. I would have made a different choice if I knew we'd be driving all the way across the country before the year was out." Stepping over, he opened the back door with a soft smile and slowly shook his head. When he spoke again, it was quieter, gentle. "I know you miss your baby, but we can call Snowflake tonight and video chat, if you want? We both know everyone's sleep schedules are a mess, anyway."

He got a sigh in return, but the crate wasn't any closer to actually being in the car than it had been, before. "Do you think she misses us? I mean... she has to be used to seeing us  _ every day,  _ and now it's been almost a week, and it's gonna be  _ another _ week before I get to hold her again, and she's probably  _ terrified _ because we aren't even there, and we haven't even called, and- oh god. Are we bad parents?"

Trevor moved quickly, gently grabbing the cat crate with one hand while his other sought out his fiancé's wrist almost out of habit. "Deke, you're doing that spiral thing. Take a deep breath." He twisted so he could slide the crate into the back seat, but Deke was looking down at his own arm.

"How does that  _ always _ work? I can't even put my watch on that arm, but you barely touch it and then..."

"And then you stop thinking so much about what was bothering you because you're too focused on being confused about why it's weirdly comforting when I touch your scars? Yeah, I figured that out a while ago."

Deke stared at him for a moment, blinked, and finally took the deep breath as he was instructed to do. "You could be a supervillain with the right motivation. SHIELD wouldn't stand a chance. It's terrifying."

With a smirk, he stepped over to kiss his cheek before making sure the car door was properly closed. "I know. Come on, get in the car. The sooner we start driving, the sooner you can see your baby and stop panicking about our irrelevant parenting skills."

-

After their fourth day of driving, they pulled into their fourth hotel parking lot and found a spot to park so that they could organize what they needed from the car for the night. For the most part, the trip had been going smoothly, and they even had a little bit of extra time so that they could stop for a real sit down meal at least once a day. They had a mountain of new inside jokes, at least thirty new favorite songs, and at least twice as many new memories, but the high of the first few days couldn't last forever.

Deke opted to find a pair of sweatpants as soon as they checked in and had a room, listening to the shower running in the small bathroom while he got changed. It had become a routine for one of them to turn on the television and find something at least semi-interesting to watch until they were tired enough to sleep, but he didn't even touch the remote while he sat on the edge of the bed. When the bathroom door opened and Trevor stepped out, he didn't hesitate before speaking up. "Do you think this is stupid...?"

There was a long moment of silence, the air between them suddenly thick with tension. "I think you're going to need to be a little more specific before I can answer that."

_ "This.  _ Is it stupid?" Shaking his head, Deke shifted so that he could sit further back on the bed and pull his legs up onto the mattress with him. "Completely uprooting our lives to move across the country, getting married, all of it. It's insane, right? Like... how... how do I know that this won't all fall apart? That you won't decide to just go back to SHIELD and be an agent full time? Technically, you're still keeping an eye on me for Mack, but how long with that actually be  _ necessary? _ I'm developing a few new ideas for games with the Framework, but I haven't taken anything new in over a year. They'll have you on other missions again, I'm sure, and then... where does that leave me? Just alone again? Did I really let love make me so stupid that I let this happen...?"

"Deke, slow down. Just  _ stop, _ for a second." The bed squeaked with added weight, but there was still a careful amount of space between them that seemed to make the tension thicker, almost suffocating. "Did something happen while I was in the shower? Where is this coming from? Is everything okay?"

There was a level of worry and affection that he wasn't fully anticipating in the eyes that looked back at him, and he  _ had _ to stop and breathe, just to process the intensity of it. His anxiety about everything didn't completely go away, but he could feel it start to ebb the way it usually did when they were together - when he didn't feel so alone, when he felt  _ protected _ from everything that could go wrong in his life instead of buried by it. "I... no, nothing happened, I just... You can't possibly want your life to be tied to mine  _ forever. _ What if... what if I start to annoy you? And now you're going to be  _ legally bound _ to me and all of my annoying qualities until one of us dies."

An attempt to stifle the chuckle that followed the words was a failure, and Trevor awkwardly cleared his throat before speaking up quickly. "Babe, in the most loving way I can possibly say this, you already annoy me. You sing along to every single song in the car, even if you don't know it; you continue to call yourself  _ daddy _ in public whenever we take Clover somewhere, even when I've repeatedly asked you to stop; you have stolen the same sweater from me so many times that I stopped trying to buy replacements and now the four of them just cycle through different drawers depending on who does laundry that week which, for the record, is usually me. But you wouldn't be  _ you _ if you didn't have those annoying little quirks." He seemed to hesitate before shifting on the bed and reaching for Deke's nearest hand, the contact more controlled than anything they'd done in the car during their multiple days on the road. "I'm not perfect, either. I'm sure I do things that annoy you, too, but... that's how it's  _ supposed _ to be. We don't love people because they're  _ perfect, _ we love them for all the reasons they're not.  _ I love you,  _ Deke Shaw, and no big move across the country or change in our jobs is going to change that. I wouldn't have proposed if I didn't think we could handle it."

After a moment, Deke managed a small nod and squeezed his hand weakly before releasing his breath with a slow sigh. "Yeah... yeah, you're right; I'm overreacting..."

"Hey, I didn't say that." The bed squeaked again when he moved closer, their shoulders pressed together without their hands having to part for even an instant. "I don't think you're overreacting. I think there's a lot changing, and you're scared, because it's scary. But you've survived a lot worse than moving into a place that's closer to the people we care about. And  _ we've _ survived a lot worse than some light field work. Kind of. I'm fine, now."

"Oh, god, what if you  _ die  _ again? That didn't even occur to me.  _ Trevor-!" _

"If I die again, you'll just bring me back to kill me yourself. After Simmons does exactly that to me for leaving you alone." He turned his head enough to kiss Deke's hair before squeezing his fingers with a small smile. "Honestly, things won't change as much as we think they will. You'll set up your new office with a new assistant, I'll help with the security team, and then you'll have a badass, SHIELD trained husband who does your laundry and feeds the cat and makes you spaghetti for when you get home. The only difference will be that we're going to be  _ married _ in a few months, instead of just engaged to be married." Falling quiet for a moment, he took a deep breath before all but whispering. "Shit... now  _ that's _ a scary thought..."

Deke managed a smile, a real one, for the first time since he'd settled on the bed, and leaned more of his weight into his fiancé's side. "We've survived a lot worse than a wedding."


End file.
